Bawl on a String

“When someone asked Abe Lincoln, after he had been elected president, what he was going to do about all his enemies, he replied,
“I am going to destroy them. I am going to make them my friends.”

There was a ‘pincher’ in a class near mine. He targeted a ‘screamer’. It got to the point where the ‘pincher’ merely laid a finger on the ‘screamer’ and fabulous ballet of nurses and faculty would come running from everywhere to see what “hatchet murder” was taking place. Well, the powers that be decided that these two children move up together in my class. I worked closely with the parents, faculty, and spoke regularly to both the children. There would be no added attention to the situation till I got to the bottom of what was REALLY going on.
It turns out…if you hadn’t guessed already, these two had socialization issues. They were naturally drawn to each other but, didn’t know how to engage socially other than…well, pinching and screaming…and yes, they were annoying each other…and everyone else in their, “getting-to-know-you-phase”. Thankfully, we had a floater I could use that would shadowed the boys through their friendship process. They cried regularly, were offended on a whim, and need lots of teacher guidance when problem solving.
It all took time… but the boys eventually understood how to be friends with each other and with others.
I don’t believe I have ever seen a child look at another as ‘an enemy’. Little kids will argue or even fight…but ten seconds later they are playing together….happily. As a parent or teacher we can use that-there are teachable moments for children when they are receptive….teachable moments for us ‘big people’,too…if we are REALLY paying attention.

Sharing vs Taking Turns in Early Childhood Education

Depending on the age, whether the child has siblings, and situation in the home, a toddler or a preschooler may have a period adjustment in a social situation such as a home daycare or preschool. Montessori calls it a period of "normalizing", or getting used to the social environment.
this requires positive adult guidance and interaction.
Some preschool teacher's believe sharing is a natural occurrence in toddler's and preschoolers and a loving act. It is actually more so developmental and learned-more likely to occur when a child's basic needs are met.
Basic needs of a child:
Well fed/and hydrated 
Diaper changed/body feels comfortable 
Child feels safe and loved

Sharing is considered a to be more a milestone in development than manners for little ones in early childhood programs like mine. When children have positive feelings about sharing it is usually because of a positive environment as well as hitting a milestone in their development.
Supervising and being observant of preschoolers and toddlers is very important. I am often there to narrate their actions for them because so often I see them misinterpreting a loving hug as an assault or vise versa. I encourage taking turns, letting them work out the reasonable amount of time they wish to take a turn-then commending them for sharing when they follow through with the turn taking. Yes.....it takes time. The reward comes when after a while the scenario plays out like this...

"I want to ride bike, Jada." Taylor says.

"Um..5 more minutes, okay?" Says Jada.

"No, 3 more minutes." Says Taylor.

"Okay..." Says Jada. "Come get me." (Taylor runs off to play in the sand).

Jada rides the bike for five more minutes then goes to get Taylor in the sand box.

"Taylor, I done, get your bike!"

"Thanks, Jada!" They high-five each other and switch places.

Teething and Biting in Early Childhood Settings

"Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was, that they escaped teething."
-Mark Twain

The teething process in different for every baby. Some babies and toddlers sail through it while others endure many symptoms if illness. This is a milestone in the child's development, and although we want them to be as comfortable as possible, it can be a stressful time for both the child, and the caregivers.

Symptoms of Teething:
*Loose BM's
*Restlessness, irritability and disturbed sleep patterns
*Sore, red gums
*Loss or changes in appetite
*A slight rise in temperature
*Drooling (which may cause a rash or sore, chapped skin on the chin)
*A sudden desire to chew anything they can lay their hands on.
*An urge to bite. This should not be perceived as a sign of aggression or anger, more of a means to ease the pain of teething.
Teething toys and proper precautionary measures must be carried out to keep all children safe if biting occurs in the classroom. A caregiver must be consistent and be calm in the manner in with the situation is handled.

I usually follow kids that love to chop casually around with a teething ring in my apron pocket and get a chance to sharpen my reflexes. I get a first hand and up close look at exactly what sets kids off biting in the first place. When I am there to stop biting and redirect anger toward the teething ring I start doing my own personal documentation on the matter. I can see if there were any particular children he/she aimed for, the times of day it occurred, etc. After about a month there was a definite pattern to the behavior.

I'll ask to meet with families and by then I am armed with data and ready to brainstorm possible solutions. The plan was to incorporate 'feelings' and feelings awareness into the preschool curriculum and to empower any child to use the teething ring on his/her own. It is very important that kids learn to get positive attention and socialization rather than the negative attention they may be accustomed to. We sing songs like, 'If your Happy and You Know It' and acted out feelings of sadness and anger...we talk about being angry and that teachers can help you if you get angry or sad. We bring out and read picture books of feelings and read them in groups and individually. We incorporated them in every aspect of the preschool curriculum we could think of until biting slowly begins to subside. I recall one graduate of this plan one day yelling, "Oooh, I so angry!" He reached on my pocket and chomped down on the teething ring....he then put it back in my pocket and went back to playing. Helping kids become personally aware is a great feeling not only for us but for them!