Conflict Resolution: What do you do when the kids argue?

Okay, so it happens and this video got me thinking about what to do when our own kids argue in the classroom.
I love to post about the fun and good times we all have in preschool, but there are clearly times where we as teachers need to step in and help kids problem solve.

"I said, NO! And I mean it!"

Conflict resolution is a beautiful thing when the kids argue. Much of the time they need a bit of help and guidance from us during an argument.
I say this because even in the happiest classrooms, it's not a matter of if, but when an argument erupts.

We would like to hear about about tried and true solutions for conflict resolution within your classroom!
So, how would you handle this situation in the video?
Would you have intervened? If so at what point?

Getting Schooled

I think sometimes it is easy to underestimate the cleverness of preschoolers. On my brake I happen to overhear a substitute teacher managing a group of preschoolers.
"Okay, kids!" He began, "I would like to hear about how smart you are."
"Yeaaaaaaa-h!" They cheered.
"I am so glad." He laughed.

The room went silent with the exception of a few giggles.
"So children, why do you think birds fly south for the winter?"
"I know, I know!" Chimed through the room.

"Hillary, tell us what you think the answer is."
"It's a-cause birdies don't like to walk!"

The teacher hesitated, then said, "That's true! Let's clap for Hillary!"

What Preschool Kids Think About School

Sure, Early Childhood Educators care about what our preschool children think and feel about their preschool experiences. After all, it is the first impression they get of school.
Most often times, it's good to take a survey or census of our work. Usually we get feedback from our families.
Not me.
At least that is not my only feedback. I go to the children themselves-and not to brag but over the years I have learned to speak "Preschool-ese".
Below are actual answers from the preschoolers and some may argue that my interpretations are a bit liberal....but trust me, I'm a trained professional.
I encourage you to take a survey from the kids as well. And if you have a bit of trouble interpreting here are some easy translations.

Handy Dandy Tips for Effective Interpretations of Preschool-ese:

Question: "What do you like most about Preschool?"

"The play-dough tastes good." Translation: "I like to play with the play-dough here at school. If I accidentally tell you I eat it, please don't get mad."

"My teacher is really pretty/cute." Translation: (It's a compliment, silly)


"My mommy take-d me to preschool and I go to my school." Translation: "I am not quite used to the idea of preschool, but I get it that I have to go. I miss my mommy and I wish she could come along, too. I really need you to be my friend and check on me, teacher."


"When is snacks coming?" Translation: "I love the food and snacks here. I'm growing and require lots of food so I would appreciate it if you would kindly send word to the kitchen so I can get on with playing. I need my energy."
(* NOTE: It may seem like the answer had nothing to do with the question, doesn't it? Ah, not so-necessarily)

How about you? What are some great translations that work for you as a teacher?
How is you're 'Preschool-ese' on a scale of 1-10?

The Preschooler's Snow People Song

Here is an all time winter favorite the children always have always loved whether it's via flannel story or simply acting it out. The snow people song has been a great motivation for kids to draw and tell stories about their own experiences. We frequently add concepts and facts about ice and water as well as allowing the children to freely improvise their own ideas to make the story their own. The staff and I often joke that this is the only politically correct song we know of for "people of the snowy persuasion". We hope you and your class of preschoolers enjoy this as much as we are.

Five little people all made of snow, 

five little snow people all in a row.

Out came the sun to shine all day

and one little snow person melted away....

Four little people all made of snow, 

four little snow people all in a row.

Out came the sun to shine all day

And one little snow person melted away...

Three little people all made of snow, 

three little snow people all in a row

Out came the sun to shine all day

And one little snow person melted away...

Two little people all made of snow, 

two little snow people all in a row.

Out came the sun to shine all day, 

and one little snow person melted away....

One little person all made of snow, 

one little snow person all alone.

Out came the sun to shine all day...

And one little snow person melted away....

Okay kids! Who wants to build them again?

Explain it to me like I'm Three

Kindergartners David and Britney were arguing about how the telephone actually works. There is an actual phone the children have been dissecting and David took it upon himself to teach some of the children about it.
"Okay. So when you talk in the reciee-ber (receiver) part there are electrics that move with your voice, get it Brit?" David said pointing to the receiver on the phone.
"The what? Moved where? My Dad moved once...we had to get a big truck." Brit laughed.
"No. No. Have you lost your mind?" Davis said putting his hands on his hips.
 "I don't get it." She retorted.
"How can you not get it. The Electrics MOVE..."
"Hm. Still don't get it. Let's start over. Okay, explain it to me like I'm three..."

Endless Questions

"The larger the island of knowledge, 
the longer the shoreline of wonder."

~Ralph W. Sockman

Endless questions each day. From the time I walk though the classroom door to the time I walk out.

"Why isn't a banana called yellow if orange is an orange?"
"Who's your mudder (mother) and do you call her on da phone?"
"Why do you smell wiffy like a marshmallow?"
"If a cow eat-ted a Hersey Bar do we get-ted chocolate milk?"

I answer every question.
Then when I went got off work I called my mom on the to see how she was doing.....
Kids have a great way of provoking us to wonder.

One of us

I loved playing on the floor as a kid. Some of my favorite places were behind the couch and under the dining room table. Every now and then when I am vacuuming behind the couch I have this cozy feeling. I like that.
It's not often but if I get a proper opportunity I will play with kids on the floor. Sometimes I look up and see parents watching me, smiling. For some reason the kids have assigned me a plastic lion and I am told to "do the cool voice with it".
One busy afternoon  and I was subbing in the Pre-K Room with the team teacher, Ms. Lisa.  As I prepared for lunch I saw the kids approaching Ms. Lisa as she began to shake her head in confusion saying, "What is that game? How do you play it?"
"You know...come on!" Was all I heard the kids respond.
Ms. Lisa and the gaggle of kids finally approached me with toys in tow.
"Hey Ms. Barbra, do you know how to play the game the kids are talking about?" She said scratching her head.
"Hmmmmm." I smiled, "What's it called?"
"One of us!" The gaggle chimed.
"One of us?"
"You know, you played it before!" One said with an accusing a tone; arms akimbo.
"Hmmm. Show me." I challenged.
Immediately, the gaggle pulled me down to the floor and handed me a plastic lion.
"Oh yeah!" Ms. Lisa said. "Down there we are one of them!"

The Look

You know the look. If your a parent or a teacher that has this down you can stop certain behaviors in kids before it gets out of hand. I think it takes a bit of experience to acquire this.
I remember many years back it all began for me. I was tested and tried by the kids and eventually earned this honor. It was like putting little ones on pause, or something. I had wondered what I looked like so I gave my "look" in the mirror back at myself. Quite frankly I didn't see what the big deal about it was, but I began to worry if my newly acquired skills were frightening kids into submission. I did at least, until one day I was chatting with a co worker at lunch who coincidentally brought it up.
"Hey, Barb, remember when your mom or dad gave you that 'look' and you immediately stopped what your did?" Sharon said unwrapping her chicken salad.
"Boy, do I." I laughed.
"The 'look' never really worked for my mom but it sure did for my dad." She smiled.
"Wait, what do you mean? Why only for your dad?"
"Hmmm. Well, I suppose because my mom and I had a different relationship. My dad I just couldn't handle...um, well.."
"What? What?" I pressed.
"Well...." She began pouring dressing on each lettuce leaf, "I just never wanted to disappoint him."

Try checking out your "Look". We would love to hear what your "Look" looks like...

Hilarous Preschool Tales

We were looking at pictures of various flags from various countries. I wanted to see if the preschool children would recognize the U.S. flag. As the children marveled at the beautiful colors and asked questions we finally came the the American flag.
"Hey! I know That flag!" One preschooler shouted from over the group.
"You do?" I asked, "Tell us how you know it?"
"That's my country!"
I had to admit I was quite impressed with a child being so young. I pressed her further for answers.
"And what's the name of your country?" I smiled.
"Tis of thee!" She blurted.

Lost In The Translation

Thank goodness I speak 'Preschooler'. Sometimes what little ones do and say don't quite match. Getting to truly know each child is the main goal of mine whenever they are with me.
Of course yelling and throwing slobbery fits is not an effective way of communication. But being angry or sad because you miss a parent is understandable.
I do a lot of dictation with little ones. When emotions get lost in the translation I'll ask them when they are calm if we can write a story or a letter about what they are feeling. In every case the children prefer to hold their special letter throughout the day. They play, laugh, join circle times and then happily deliver the letter to the family member.
I guess sometimes having someone to listen to your feelings really does validate them. Sometimes all we need is to know someone cares.

I Like Your Hairs!

Awwwwwe.
Thanks.

back when I was a little kid

"Ms. Barbra! Ms. Barbra! Hey!"
"Goodness gravy is everything alright? What's the fuss?"
"Oh, yeah...okay, I'd talking to you wit my inside voice now, okay?"
"I appreciate that, Andrea. Now what would you like to tell me?"
"I can tie-d my show now, lookie here."
"That's wonderful, Andrea. You know, you showed me and everyone else that you could do it yesterday, remember?"
"Yeah, uh-huh. But that was back-ed then. When I was a little kid."

Color Science and Water Play in Early Childhood Education

"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not "Eureka!" (I found it!) but "That's funny..."
~Isaac Asimov

When the weather is nice and sunny we live to bring water play both indoors and outdoors. I love letting the children make scientific discoveries on their own. Setting up the right kind of inviting activities not only make for scientific thinking, but open up kids mind to worlds of possibilities.

Setting up Scientific Discoveries
for Kids Through Water Play:

Discovering Color: Gather all yellow toys (legos, cars,small balls and scoops and cups, have a large bin or water table filled with enough water to actually submerge some of the toys completely.  Add blue food coloring to the water (be sure to add just the right amount of blue to get the perfect color of green-check with a yellow toy). When the toys are submerged they actually turn a lovely green color. This can be done with any combination of primary colors (red, blue or yellow) to make secondary colors (green, orange, purple, etc.)

We take dictation of the children and post it on the door for the parents to see what types of conversations the children have while making their scientific discoveries!

itty bitty cows

We were all making a recipe that involved canned milk. Many of the children had never seen milk in a can before. As we were investigating, poking and prodding at all the ingredients before we began I overheard a discussion between the preschooler.

"I never-ed saw that a-before! Milk in a little itty-bitty can! He-He!" Paulie was holding up the can and shaking it.
"It's called condensed milk." I explained.
"OOoooh. Is it made from condensed cows, Ms Barbra?" One child inquired.
"Uh....no. No condensed cows." I said trying not to laugh.
"Cool." Said one child grabbing the can to inspect it further.
"So...Ms. Bar-ba? Nina asked.
"Yes?"
"How do they get the cows to sit down on these itty-bitty cans?"

Why Kids Don't Like"Natural Food"

"Vegetables are the food of the earth;

 fruit seems more the food of the heavens." ~Sepal Felicivant

Lunchtime at preschool is also pick up time for many of the half day preschoolers. We usually have older siblings come in and finish up their lunch with the preschoolers while the families and I have a chat. Well, we try to have a chat, anyway, we wind up listening to the children's conversations as well. An older brother was giving the little ones advice on why everyone should finish their veggies.

"So little kids, you guys are going to eat your fruit and veggies, right?" He said pointing at their green beans.
"Yeeee-ahhh." Some said in unison.
"But what about you, little guy?" The brother asked.
"Ew." Said one little one looking at his untouched peas.
"Ew? Ew, what? Those are good for you, but just don't eat natural food." He said shaking one finger in the air.
"Nature-food is bad?" Questioned one three-year-old.
"It is!" Said the sibling, "My teacher told me about a guy who died of natural causes. That's bad, kids."

where the love is

"Kids go where there is excitement.
They stay where there is love."

~Zig Ziglar

I am always excited for the children when summer begins. The new season means new activites and trips. We also do a lot of water play activites. If we can incorporate water into an everyday activity...we will! I really enjoy the fun and excitement we all have. Winding down at the end of the day is one of my favorite parts as well. I connect with parents as the little ones are sure to draw pictures for family members or make thank you notes of love and appreciation. Just before nap time I will ask the children what their favorite part of the day was,
"I liked playing in the pool!"

"I liked playing at the water table."
"I liked eating pizza!"
"I know, I know," one preschooler said, "I like it when my mom comes and I can tell her all about my day!"
We all clapped and cheered for our day but I couldn't help but remember what the one child said about his mom. The children looked just as excited at pick up time than any other part of the day. Excitement and fun are great and I know we all love school and learning, but home is where their heart is.

Know it all.

 "Can we actually "know" the universe?  I mean, it's hard

enough finding your way around in Chinatown."

We had a Dad-parent come in and do an activity with the preschoolers. He said he had had some left over materials from a Solar System activity he and the older sibling had worked on and was positive the kids would love it.
I agreed but also let him know the kids are much younger. The dad is a High School teacher. "Piece of cake." He said.
We saw maps, a short video, and he began to teach the kids the names of the planets using word association. I found it interesting but I noticed the preschoolers squirming and tickling each other after about ten minutes.
I was about to rescue him when one of the kids raised his hand.
"Ah, a question!" The dad said looking rather pleased. "What's the question?"
"Um, do we have to know all this?"
"Oh....no, its just something really cool to know about."
"Oh good." Said the preschooler shaking his head; he looked relieved.
"Well why do you say it like that?" The dad asked.
"Well,this is cool ,'Jamie's Dad', but I have a hard enough time re-a-membering to clean my room."

The Pasta Authoritarian

"I think kids like spaghetti because it they need lots of adult attention when they eat it."

I often wonder exactly how kids come up with some of their notions. I was sharing some pasta the preschoolers cooked with an older sibling of one of my kids. He took it upon himself to give the kids some insight about pasta. He loves to be an authority on anything we are doing in the preschool because he has an adoring throng. Here's how it went:
"Hey, kids! You guys made this pasta?
Everone one answered in unicine with mouthfulls of spaghetti."Yeeee-ah."
"Cool. Did you know pasta comes from Italy?"
"What's Ital-ly?" One preschooler asked.
"It's where they make pasta." He explained. "There are to kinds of pasta, you know."
"Two? What two?"
"Pasta and anti-pasta"
"What's anti-pasta?" another child asked.
"One is like spaghetti and one comes with a salad."
"Oooooo-hhhh." Said the preschoolers.
"But don't eat pasta and anti-pasta together, you know why?
"Why?" Said the group wide eyed.
"You won't be hungry if you eat them together."

High Quality Learning Environments

" A three year old child is a being who gets almost as

much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it 

does out of finding a small green worm."  

~Bill Vaughan

The importance of High Quality Learing environments has been precipitated by Economist Professor James Heckman. He has done tons of research on why kids who have a great start have a better chance at avoiding the major pitfalls we see so prevalent today. Families prove to be a major source of contributing to the development of young children. This we knew, but it's nice to hear people talking about it....

Joy

 "The best vitamin for joy in my life is B1"

One of the kids asked me a question after we sat down for a pizza party. The room was buzzing with parents and families and we were having a great time. She whispered in my ear. Ear whispering means it's a very important, yet private question. I leaned in carefully to hear.
"Ms Barbra?" Her breath smelled sightly of Hawaiian Punch.
"Yes?" I whispered back.
"My mommy and daddy are here."
"I saw that. What do you think?"
"Well...um, well. We will eat pizza now and I thunk-ed something but I don't know what it is."
"Is that so?"
"Yeah, uh-huh. It's that feeling in my tummy I get when I eat pizza. It's like that to see my mommy and daddy, too."
"Hmmm-mm......... Joy?"
"Hey!" She smiled. "That's it!"
Amazing.
Amazing how such a three letter word look so small printed on paper. But by simply being appreciative for what we have  in our lives, we find out what a great and precious gift it really is.